Well today is my first on "Blogger" & just checking out what's the hoopla about it. I guess this can be my diary of some sort even though I got a diary under my bed. But that one is for "show" if my boyfriend ever got his hands on it. If he knew what I did and what I was doing he would probably just leave me alone or worse slap the hell out of me ! Anyway my Christmas was alright all I got was a a couple of Baby Phat dresses, a jewlery box, and a gift card to Bath and Body Works, I never really got much on this day but hey I am grateful for everything I do have, which is my job, education, car, bed to sleep, and most of all the air in my lungs! The one thing I wasnt grateful for was the food poisoning I got from McDonald chicken nuggets I ate on X-mas eve ...man I was sooo messed up, I threw up so hard I had chicken coming out of my nose!!! EWWWW! It was very uncomfortable for those 2 days. I never thought I would have to go to the hospital on Christmas. So far I am just waiting on Damion to send me a letter to let me know what is going on with him and when his release date would be. I miss him so much, he has been gone for about a year now over a stupid old drug case and will be out before March 31 2008. I know some people might wonder why I am with a person like that but I have been w/him since I was 16 now I am 21 and it is very hard to let your 1st love go. But I know there are limitations, when he gets out he better be on his sh*t, if not then I have no choice but to even though I cant see my self to do it. Who knows I dont knw what I would or will do, however time will tell me.
Now Gerald is my second love, we're not offically together but he doesnt know that I am still with my boyfriend but he suspects it sometimes, he always telling me "I know you be writing him, I know you love him," But I just deny it. He always wants me to tell him the truth cuz he says he doesnt want to get too attached to me and then get his heart broken. I think its probably too late for that, cuz I know I will upset him and he would really be out here like "F*ck the World." And I dont want to do that to him. He's always telling me that if he ever finds out I sleeping with someone that he'll just leave me alone. In way he is selfish cuz I know he talks to other girls probably even sleeps with them, I guess that is how guys are they want their cake and eat it too. Hell what am I talking about I getting mines too! Dont get me wrong I feel bad sometimes when I cheat and think about Damion, I even made a promise to myself, God and Damion that I would not cheat and and I broke it. Shame on me! I watch this reality series with Keshia Cole and her mama said "Promises are Made to be Broken." and in this case I truly think they are unfortunately. I tell my self I need to stop, even coming up with a New Years resolution to not do it anymore. I believe this would be it for me. I will just tell Gerald I am celebate till I get married. That would just give him time to find someone else and take the pressure of wanting to be with me.
New Years is coming to a near I wonder what am I gonna do? mmmh
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