What to Do

I feel like I am falling for Gerald each day that passes by. What hell am I gonna do. I dont understand myself.

I always told myself that I would never fall in love with 2 people and I did!

I think whenever I say never it actually happens not to sound superstitious or anything but it always seem to go that way.

Yesterday I was with him ...we went to the casino and ate then he gambled and lost like he always and got mad becuz he felt like the girl handeling the chips was cheating.

Then we left went to his house .....I found a number in his pocket and I got mad ...so I told him we were never going to be intimate no more he got upset and said that it wasnt his and he was cleaning up and put it in his pocket.

Whatever!

Then I just didnt say anything he really got irritated. Asking me what was I gonna do.

Still didnt answer him.

He was all saying stuff like I amnot about to kiss your ass cuz if I do...that would make me look weak.

I see he had too much pride, so that made me even more stubborn just to see if he would break down. He almost did..but I left so I could pick my mother up for work.

He got in the car and wanted an answer on if I still wanted to talk to him ...I didnt give it to him. He threatened to ride with me all the way to my mothers job but 2 blocks down decided to get out and walk in the cold.

He called me like 20 minutes later and asked if I wanted to still talk to him, I said No and hing up on him . Then he called back asking why I hung up and I told him I didnt wanna talk, he was like alright and hung up.

When I got home I called back to tell him I didnt mean it, but his brother told me he was sleep.

Damn

I hope he didnt do anything stupid, now I miss him more and I want to call him but it is too early so Ima wait till about 11 and call and tell him I am sorry. I love him.